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Continue reading →: Are you a morning or night person?I’m definitely a morning person and by that I mean I’m more productive in the daytime. I used to wake up with the Hawaiian sun shining through my bedroom window. (Doesn’t that sound like something out of a Disney cartoon!) I didn’t own an alarm clock until I moved…
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Continue reading →: What is home? (a nomad reflects)Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home. – Matsuo Basho I’ve done a lot of moving in my life in attempt to discover where I belong. I’ve moved from Portland, Oregon, down to Chico, California, then further still to Oceanside, California. And when we were fed…
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Continue reading →: Awkward weird dates, I’ve had a few…It’s been years since I wrote a painful-but-true Valentine’s Day post, so I thought I’d dust off the ‘ol corners of the brain, and pull out the EMBARRASSING MOMENTS file for your stupid holiday pleasure. Enjoy.
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Continue reading →: ✍🏼 Looking back to move forward: What changes will you make this year?Many years ago, I was chatting with an old college friend and he confided that he always felt like one of the keys to a perfect life was eluding him. “What do you mean?” I said.
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Continue reading →: What’s your relationship with money?I had a complicated (and unhealthy) relationship with money and like a lot of issues that need examining, this one starts with childhood. At home My mother is obsessed with it. My father was frugal, but beyond that he hasn’t influenced me like my mother because he died when I…
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Continue reading →: Do you have a kitchen? Do you cook?Do you have a kitchen? Apparently, that’s not such a strange question to ask. It’s believed that by 2030, kitchens will be either shared or smaller due to more people ordering-in.
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Continue reading →: Things I understand now that I’m an adultRemember when you were a kid and you’d look up at all the things that adults did and you’d go – WHY? Well, I don’t wonder anymore. // Passing out after work
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Continue reading →: A year of do-oversPerhaps it is too soon to reflect on the year past, but I’m currently occupying that space between here and there. In other words, I’m getting ready to move from Northern Thailand to Central Thailand. And instead of doing the impatient-dance, I’m diving into deep creative waters (at least as…
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Continue reading →: How to socialize: an introvert’s guideI know. I know. You’re freaking out because you have a friend’s birthday to go to. It’s also that time of year again – the holidays! I understand. Shhhh. I’ve got some ideas and tips.
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Continue reading →: ✈️ Have sick sack, will travelSome people travel well. They can read while traveling, eat, sleep, watch movies, play games, and even join the mile high club. I’m not one of those people.
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Continue reading →: What’s your relationship with change?As a Taurus, I’m told I don’t like change. Yet, my life-line so far has been a series of interruptions and situations that have forced me to adapt. After college the longest I’ve ever lived in the same town was for about three years, and that’s not counting the times…
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Continue reading →: ✍🏼 Excuses, excuses: why I haven’t finished my memoir yetI might be procrastinating. Or maybe I’m taking my time! I’m definitely trying to avoid rushing the process because that’s what I did last time, and I regretted it. Also, I’ve run into a few problems. It’s nothing that can’t be solved. I’m not worried. Let me explain.
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Continue reading →: What’s your relationship with social media and your phone?I was late to social media. An old high school friend convinced me to get on Facebook because “everyone was doing it”. She excitedly talked about how she reconnected with so many friends from school. Funnily, while I enjoyed high school because I was part of the theatre program, I…
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Continue reading →: 💞 10 things I love about myselfI wish I could say that this list came easy for me, but alas it did not. I love this idea though! I got it from Gallantly Gal. You must do it, too. Then post it for the world to see! And no, you may not “balance” it out with…
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Continue reading →: Breaking bad Asian stereotypesFirst of all, as an Asian American living in Asia, this is an interesting (and dare I say, amusing) topic to investigate. I’ve been trying to understand why this is entertaining for me though. I guess because I have what I consider a more balanced view of stereotypes. I understand…
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Continue reading →: ✍🏼 Learning to be vulnerable in writing and life“Do you ever have dark thoughts?” My best friend from high school looked at me, paused, and then said, “Yes.” I nodded. That’s all I needed to know.
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Continue reading →: Reflecting on the windows I’ve known and loved“Desirable views have a hint of mystery. We like to understand and enjoy what is happening around us, and to imagine that if we traveled from where we are into the unknown we would meet with pleasant surprises…” – Psychology Today When we first arrived back to Thailand, the skies…
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Continue reading →: 🇹🇭 Can you cook Thai food?Upon learning that I am half-Thai, folks want to know, “Can you cook Thai food?” When I was younger, the answer was no. As in why on God’s green and blue earth would I want to? My mom can cook wonderfully though, thank you. As I got older, I became…
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Continue reading →: There’s nothing wrong with asking for help (and why concepts like greng jai need to die)There’s a Thai word “greng jai” that has always annoyed me. It’s basically used to describe a person who doesn’t want to be an inconvenience to anyone. They don’t want to be a bother, and it’s supposed to be a positive trait. We have this same idea, too, in American…
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Continue reading →: What does it mean to be Asian American?Sometimes I feel like an anomaly. I’m a 45 year old American Thai-Chinese woman who was born in Hawaii, who has lived on three continents, and who was raised by a Thai immigrant mother and a working class white male. I can’t squeeze into an “ism”. My dress size…
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Continue reading →: Can you use chopsticks?I remember the first time I used chopsticks. We were at Aiea Chop Suey (HA!); it was my mom, my younger brother, and me. We were not given any silverware, just those horrible off-white plastic set of sticks. “Uh, I said. “How are we supposed to eat this?” My mom…
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Continue reading →: How has living abroad changed you?My friend, who is somewhat newly moved to Thailand, was reflecting on what it’s like to be an expat: the culture shock, and then the struggle of not wanting to complain and feel culture shocked. As I walked to work, I thought about how much I had changed since living…
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Continue reading →: Pain, struggle, and the stories within usI’m binge watching Season 24 of America’s Next Top Model (don’t laugh). In fact, I’ve watched every season (not every episode though) because I’m a wannabe model. Funnily, I take really bad photos, but counteract this by making goofy faces, and accepting the fact that I’m not photogenic. But what…
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Continue reading →: Life sucks until it doesn’t anymoreI feel good. However, if you’d have told me what my life would be like if I moved back to Thailand before I did it, I’m not sure I would have returned. I know now why we can’t see in to our future – doing so prevents us from ever…
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Continue reading →: What’s up with Asians and White Couples?It’s weird, you know, being back in Thailand. There are enough White men with Asian women around for you to you raise your chopsticks and your eyebrows. Sometimes it’s the age difference that’s startling. Sometimes though you can’t really tell, as some men look older than their age, and the…
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Continue reading →: 🇹🇭 Thai Visa Run to Kuala Lumpur: A Practical GuideFirst of all, let me congratulate you on making a good choice. Going to Vientiane Laos for your Thai visa run is like competing in the Hunger Games. By contrast, heading to Kuala Lumpur is like taking your dog on a walk through the park, sometimes there are unsure moments,…
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Continue reading →: My struggle and relationship with stuffWhat has haunted me since we’ve left Cambodia is all the stuff I gave away, all the stuff I left behind. My mind tosses and turns like a salad, over and over again, remembering this particular thing or that object that I miss. Because when we left, we left thinking…
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Continue reading →: 📚 How well do you know yourself? (and how to know yourself better)Know thyself – the Oracle at Delphi When I was sharing what happened between my mom and I, someone remarked, ‘that was good of your mom to recognize that she was mad at herself for getting mad at you’. And I thought, that’s interesting; are people not aware of their…
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Continue reading →: When life throws you a do-over (and you return from where you left)During one of the darkest moments in my adult life, I failed to reach out. I didn’t really tell friends and family what was happening. I think part of the reason was I couldn’t explain it, I couldn’t get my hands around it, but mostly I was ashamed. This time…
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Continue reading →: The problem with creatives, Asian daughters, and non-conformists.“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” – as attributed to Mike Tyson OK. Here’s what I’ve told you. I had to come back to the US of A. We were not sure for how long, but we thought we’d give it a go, you know,…
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Continue reading →: “Don’t be a little bitch” and other New Year’s ResolutionsThere are a couple of military grunts living above my mom’s apartment. Late one night, one of them said as they stomped up the stairs, “I’m gonna stop drinking. I gotta quit drinking.” His roommate followed him up the stairs behind him and replied, “Don’t be a little bitch.”
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Continue reading →: When your life is up in the air or taking a nose diveWe made the announcement about a week ago on FB that we would be returning to the US of A after eight years abroad – and now I’m not so sure. It feels like announcing I’m getting married and then having to tell everyone that the wedding’s not taking place…
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Continue reading →: Looking back at 2017: a writer’s lifeThis year has got to be the quietest year of blogging on record thus far, but it wasn’t the calmest behind the scenes. There are a few of reasons for this, and maybe you can relate to the struggles of trying to “do it all”.
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Continue reading →: What happened to creativity in music and the arts?Remember when music was a movement? When creativity was king? Why is popular music these days so bad?
Hello,
I’m Lani
Welcome to Life, the Universe, and Lani. I’ve been blogging about my experiences living abroad since 2009.
At this point, this site serves as an archive as I’m mostly active at No Girl is an Island 👉https://lanivcox.substack.com/ 🏝️where I have been both newslettering and continuing to craft personal essays on finding freedom in the fringes.
Thanks for stopping by, have a look around, and hope to see you over at No Girl is an Island.
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