Social distancing isn’t just the hottest catchphrase, it’s also a new way of life after COVID-19.

• My kid can’t beat up your kid anymore. In fact, with these masks on I can’t tell which one is my kid.

• Siblings no longer need to draw an invisible line in the backseat of cars, a plastic shield has been erected instead. #sayitdontsprayit

• Sharing staples, scissors, or pens in the office now involve a quick but thorough spritz from an alcohol spray bottle before the hand off. (It’s you not me. I mean, I don’t think it’s me. Is it me?)

• Doughnut days in the break room require Bring Your Own Rubber Gloves (BYORG) before touching the baker’s dozen. (No touchy!)

• Masks are encouraged in banks, but unfortunately so are urine and blood samples for identification purposes. (Awww, I just did this yesterday.)

• Picking up coffee for the gang in accounting – OKAY! Taking sips from Janice’s mint latte without her knowledge – NOT OKAY! (It was never okay, but it’s really not okay, Steve.)

• For Halloween this year, consent will be needed to knock on neighbors doors or ring the doorbell. Actually, it’s probably best for you kids to yell ‘Trick or Treat’ from the curb. Then neighbors can bazooka-blast candy in your general direction. (Face shields recommended.)

• Cinema and fast food drive-ins (hello, Sonic) see a resurgence – as well as chaperones for romantic dates.

• Children playing outside, in their yards, or a boy in a bubble is no longer considered a strange sight.

• Instead of cops saying, “could you please step away from the vehicle” they’ll be saying, “could you please get back in your car, sir”…

• Robots are used to relay coy messages and phone numbers in pubs and bars.

• The NFL becomes flag football. (But don’t worry, fresh new flags replace the ones that have been pulled off.)

• NBA and NHL players are required to wear inflatable sumo wrestling suits. (Get ready to roll!)

• School teachers are finally given the authority to kick out coughing, sneezing, or annoying students from the classroom.

20 replies on “Discover Prompts, Day 17: Distance

  1. Whoa, this is a different take on the current situation! Love it 🙂
    I’ve written a bunch of articles on this very topic, I’m sure you’ll relate to those!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, wanted to do something different. Humor helps us gain perspective and I felt I was serious enough yesterday. Glad you liked it! Thanks so much.

      Like

  2. I really dislike the term social distancing. It sounds so…upperclass and alludes to the fact we can’t separate ourselves from social. I guess the extroverted world can’t handle being introverted 😣

    Love your humour here. By keeping our distance we can all stay in our own little worlds. I’m a happy introvert that way 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A friend of mine sent me an article about how introverts need socializing too, we just need it in smaller controlled doses 😀

      Yeah, all those jokes about introverts looking in after extroverts during this time is no joke!

      Thanks for reading. I”m glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

      1. I have heard about introverts needing socialising too! I am probably one of the weirder introverts as I’ve went months previously without socialising and people interaction 😂

        Always like your writing, Lani. Still waiting for your second book 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nah, you probably just needed to hunker down and do your own thing. Even in quarantine I find I have my limits of video chats and calls 😉

        Thanks so much for the compliment! You made my day! Getting there…

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Let’s also consider the beauty of ‘Hey there (I mean there there there, very far away), can I have your number?” come back. Dinner and film? Naaah.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! Theatre seating could get more spacious though! Oooo. No more listening to someone whisper the plot line to their dates or folks munching on their popcorn!

      Liked by 1 person

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