This post was inspired by Biscuits & Brioche’s A Snob’s Guide to Restauranting. I’m surprised that after all my years abroad I haven’t written about this. Then again, because it’s been sometimes embarrassing, frustrating, and I’ve gotten used to it, who wants to share those moments?
Service
Thailand’s nickname is “The Land of Smiles”, but it’s unofficial one is TIT or “This is Thailand” as if to say, this is the way things are, shrug or laugh or scream, what are you going to do, nothing. Some restaurants are normal, you know, the wait staff approaches you with a menu or points to one on the wall. Other places, you sit down and are ignored until you get someone’s attention. I’ve seen this with all customers.
After we left he said, “I’m never going back to that place again.”
For me, I thought we “cracked it” so why not? But for him, he was so put off by the whole thing, he was still frustrated. To be fair though, there are plenty of times when you can be surprised by a waitress speaking English (Thais can be rather shy about using English), and asking you lots of curious questions. I think this is what most of us expect, but you can’t.
Food
Thai cuisine is internationally famous, and you can tell what foreigners feel comfortable ordering because more touristy restaurants will know fried rice and pad Thai. In fact, there’s a popular Thai song that makes fun of this. We believe though that because we are in Thailand that all the food will be AMAZING. But that’s not always the case, you can get bad Thai food here, and often the cooks in the kitchen will change the taste to accommodate what they think foreigners like (i.e. less spicy).
Or if you say, you can eat spicy food, they might decide to “challenge” you and throw in as much chili peppers as they think you can possibly stomach. I accept the challenge and eat as much of it as I can, but usually I push aside the peppers, but those spices spread like an invisible virus. It feels personal until you talk to other foreigners who’ve had the same experience.
One of the adjustments that you get used to is food is served at different times at your table. It’s common to eat your entire meal before your friend receives theirs. So, those days of waiting for everyone to get their dish before you start? Yeah, out the window. I always insist friends eat their food while it’s hot.
It’s also commonplace to receive the wrong order, no matter how clearly you said it, or pointed or whatever, (yup TIT), it’s best to roll with it. I’ve eaten my fair share of things I didn’t order just for the sake of being pleasant and getting something in my belly.
Which reminds me, appetizers do not necessarily come first. In fact, it’s best if you plan on it not coming until after the main dishes.
Acoustics
Dry wall does not exist here, so prepare yourself for a lot of concrete. This can create horrible acoustics. Thais like to play (usually lame) covers of pop songs and/or very loud music at events. I’m convinced that the majority of the population is functionally deaf before 50.
Reservations
Meh. If where you are dining has reservations, you’re probably eating at an establishment that will be used to foreigners, or what we consider a predicable experience. I’ve generally not had a problem with making reservations. (Now please prepare yourself for having problems with reservations…)
Extras / Ambiance
Oh, Thailand. You taught me so much. Eating out can be an adventure. You have to be up for it. I’m okay with walking in and making a fool of myself because I’ve lived here long enough. Sure, I’ve gotten angry, but that’s usually the hunger talking. I’ve walked out, too. Without a Thai boy/friend taking charge, we have to muddle through the process. My biggest cheat though is that the BF can read and write Thai. (My Middle-Earth Elvish doesn’t come in handy here.)
But these days, there are so many creative ways to get around the language barrier. First, you can look at what folks are eating around you. Second, you can learn a few dishes in Thai. (My vocab is the strongest regarding food.) Most places have photos. And even if they don’t, you’ve got your smart phone with photos that can help bridge the gap. I’ve seen travelers draw pictures, too. I’m sure I’m missing something though, what workarounds have you seen or done to order food in a different country?
// At food courts, you have to get a card in order to pay for your food. There are plenty of photos if there isn’t any English. You can do it. Very local.
// As a rule of thumb, we don’t eat food that has been sitting out. If it has, we take it home and nuke it.
// Sometimes they freak out when they hear you speaking English, so you have to wait until they get their English-speaking friend. It doesn’t matter if no language is necessary, you have to starve a little longer.
// I know you want to show off your mad chopsticks skills, but no one here uses them except with noodles with broth.
// Sometimes the silverware is already on the table in plastic or metal containers.
// Sometimes water is self-serve. Look around, you’ll find it.
// I like to quote my friend Lauren during her trip to India because it is so true, it’s funny. “Cleanliness is overrated.”
Generally though, ambiance can include the cook sneezing violently in the kitchen due to a cold or frying peppers. Lizards crawling around the lights at night. Loud motor vehicles driving by or belching exhaust. Sewage smells. Persistent mosquitoes or flies hanging around your table. Toilet paper “napkins”. Classic rock music. Friendly and attentive staff. Wonderful food. A super cheap (or damn reasonable) bill. Experiences that don’t feel like home, but an adventure.
What’s it like in your country, or what’s a memorable eating out story for you?
Life, the Universe, and Lani 
This is a great read! And thank you for the mention. 🙂 A lot of this seems to be universal, it seems. Once after having just arrived in Sofia, Bulgaria, my friends and I sat down in a restaurant, and realized we couldn’t read the menu. Duh. So the owners brought us into the kitchen so we could point to things we wanted. Then we sat down and had an incredible meal at a very low price. That’s one of those things I’ll always savor in my dining out memory bank.
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That sounds like a great experience! I’ve always enjoyed behind-the-scenes looks. When my mom worked in a kitchen of a Thai restaurant, I felt lucky to see what really went on.
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This is amazing and super informative. As if you knew I am flying to Bangkok tomorrow… technically today! In Korea most mid-price range restaraunts have a button on the table you push to ring a bell for service. It’s super nice because you don’t have a waiter hovering every 5 min (there’s no tipping either). I remember when I first came I didn’t know this and almost got angry that the server didn’t even look our way. Now, I am 100 percent a believer of the bell–it’s amazingly convenient.
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Oooo. Now you’ve taught me something new. Yes, the hover! The BF almost always tells the wait staff that we need a few minutes. It seems like it’s one or the other!
Bangkok today! Well, then. This is helpful, I hope! Best go with the flow, Bangkok will hopefully be less quirky and a more normalized dining experience. Let me know how it goes.
I have bell envy!
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Thai ice tea!
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🙂 a weakness.
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Absolutely!
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TIT? Haha, in China we have TIC xD Some of the things you mentioned could also totally happen in China. Like the lack of cleanliness, especially in small restaurants. Or the waiter/tress freaking out when she sees a foreigner and asking some colleague to go instead. Or, if ordering dessert, having to specify that it has to be served AFTER the rest of the meal has been eaten, not before or during.
Here the server is usually eager to take your note though. Sometimes I have to tell them to come back later as I like seeing everything that’s on the menu and some restaurants have a dictionary size menu.
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Ha! It’s funny how we keep finding overlaps between China and Thailand. *sigh* Who knew we’d end up where we are? It seems crazy to think about telling our younger selves, ‘hey you’re going to end up in China or Thailand’!
I really am used to it, so I can’t tell if it’s as bad as it sounds or not!
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What a fun read! 😄 I’m not much going out to eat anymore since I enjoy cooking too much myself these days but wouldn’t have any stories like yours to offer anyway. 😄 The general rule here is that the food for everybody has to arrive at the same time and usually it does.
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Ahhh, lucky you. I enjoy cooking and eating out, so suffer I must 😛
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I can see some places sticking in extra chilis for a foreign customer….as a hilarious type of local joke. More for restaurants if business is slow…
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Yeah, I’m not sure what it is, but I’ve gotten used to it. 😛
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Cleanliness is not overrated! The food poisoning of India was not something to take lightly. I wouldn’t wish it on my greatest enemy. (Thailand did not even make me a little bit sick, so it must have had some amount of cleanliness haha.)
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Hahahha. Yes, I had a friend who spent half of his India trip with food poisoning. There’s definitely a bit of absurdity in that comment. As Westerners we’re raised differently, and this isn’t to say Thais are not clean, but I don’t think they see food prep the same way. I’m not sure what it is. Glad to hear that you didn’t get sick in Thailand!
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You had me rolling on the floor, Lani! Eating out is always quirky, I think in any country, until you figure out the cultural & unique peculiarities of where one is. Bangkok is one of my favourite places but ordering food can sometimes be a trial, whether is on the street or in a restaurant – there is a great deal of nodding, but am never sure exactly what that means!
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You summed it up perfectly! I agree, just this morning I was contemplating what it must be like to eat out from my home country, America. Thanks 🙂
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This makes me want to come to Thailand sooooooo badly.
Also, South African restaurants have the same issue with menus. They never seem to have enough to give to everyone at the table and they get really annoyed if you ask to keep a menu after ordering. Half the time the menu is just a single piece of paper…How hard is it to just print a few more?!
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Hahaha. Or run spell check is what I say esp when reading signs, but alas, the language is SO different.
Interesting about S.Af! I would have thought (based on all those lovely photos) that menus were more abundant. 😛
Wait, what exactly about this makes you want to visit? Just curious.
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Oh, just the food. It all looks/sounds so delicious.
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Interesting!
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