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Lani

I don’t have writer’s block; I just don’t like anything I’m writing now. Part of the problem is I’m in the middle of moving from Chiang Mai to Chiang Rai. I’m spending much of my time dealing with logistics, and saying goodbye to friends. I’m packing and planning and waiting for Season 4 of Game of Thrones. I don’t have a schedule or routine, really, as my life is in the process of progressing – it’s a mess, but in a messy way, not in a hopeless-oh-dear-god way.

And I haven’t uprooted myself in a long time. Moving within CM doesn’t count. So it’s a big change for me, even though Chiang Rai is just a mere 3 hours north. I feel like I’m waiting for the gamble to pay off, if it even works out that way. Rarely are these kinds of things so this or that, black or white, all or nothing.

There are moments when I wish time would slow down or speed up, which I think is part of the work that comes with transitions. Because I am leaving, I’m deliciously in the moment, but because I am leaving, I’m also eager to leave.

Forcing yourself to change your job, environment, relationship, habit, what-have-you, feels like, what I would imagine time travel to be. You’re hoping to land where you want to land, but you know starting over will require work that you don’t have to do when you are in familiar surroundings.

Although, if I reflect on my past, moving to places that I have never seen, don’t really know, and have done very little research on, is actually very normal for me. I live by my leaps in life. And it’s certainly not because I have some great call for adventure, in fact, many folks would say I’m a homebody and a creature of habit, it’s just seems like leaping is part of living, and following your ideas.

But if I’m honest with you, I’m turning into one of those complaining grumpy expats regarding Chiang Mai, and that’s a good sign it’s time to leave.

18 responses to “Transitions: Life’s waiting room”

Ashley

04/04

“Leaping is a part of living.” Ah. I love that sentence. Very poetic and true. Also,I listened to your voice for the first time on this post. I feel like I know you better now! Is that creepy? Haha. Great post! Change exhilarates me, yet scares me all at the same time. Good luck with your move!

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1. Lani
  
  04/04
  
  Nah, not scary. I feel like I know you too, well, you know what I mean. Chances are, our paths will cross. It’s such a small world! Thanks! I’m excited for my move, and I know the change will be good for me. Hugs.
  
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teainjapan

04/04

We too are nearing the transition of leaving what we have thought of as temporary for the past two years and so excited to land where you are leaving. We don’t know yet how long we will be there, but then…….everything is temporary!
You will be re-energized and bursting with thoughts and ideas for more of your wonderful writing and I am really looking forward to it.

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1. Lani
  
  05/04
  
  Awww, thanks Vince. I knew you two would understand. It’s just been a strange time of doing and reflecting. Of course, there was doubt, but not really, more in an entertaining way than a real serious concern. I feel pretty good overall. I’m sure you both will be in good hands once you arrive. Looking forward to hearing your adventures too. Cheers 🙂
  
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Jean

05/04

Best wishes for the future, Lani!

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1. Lani
  
  06/04
  
  Thank you Jean, it means a lot!
  
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Jim

06/04

i like your choice of Chiang Rai. good luck.

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1. Lani
  
  07/04
  
  Thanks Jim.
  
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  1. Jim
    
    07/04
    
    I saw this comment from someone spending time in Chiang Rai and wanted to share it.
    
    What do you like about Chiang Rai? Dislike?
    
    I like the ability to quickly get outside of the town and see very beautiful sights. I like that the town and surrounding area are not overrun with tourists or owned and managed by tour agencies and large companies. It feels like the locals’ town.
    
    I do not particularly like the town itself. There is not much about it that I find unique. Even this, though, has a type of charm when viewed through a certain lens. I would just advise renting some form of transportation when in Chiang Rai because the magic in this area lies just outside the city in the hills, caves, rivers and surrounding villages.
    
    – See more at: http://www.vagablogging.net/#sthash.yyX2E8BZ.dpuf
    
    Chao,
    Jim
    
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  2. Lani
    
    08/04
    
    Wow. Great find Jim. That’s the sense I get too, so it reiterates what I’ve been told and what I’ve been feeling. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness. All the best, looking forward to writing what I find in good ‘ol C’Rai! Cheers.
    
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rhyscorhys

08/04

You’re not alone in the “I just don’t like anything I’m writing now” department. Mine stems from post-transition blues that I haven’t been able to shake since the move to Los Angeles. Four months in and I’m running on vapors and I can’t lock down a schedule or routine. I think I’m terminally stuck on East Coast time and a New York frame of mind (apologies, Mr. Joel).

Having said that, I’m sure you’ll be fine once all the fuss and bother is behind you. New locale, new adventures, new blog material, all new opportunities to hear you read (seriously, if I’m ever in the market for an audio version of my great American novel, yours is the first door I’ll come pounding on… unless Claudia Black is pounding on my door). You’ll have a ball (so much easier doling this crap out than taking it to heart, isn’t it?)

ขอให้โชคดี! (<~~ If I've screwed that up, blame it on Google Translate)

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1. Lani
  
  08/04
  
  Awwww. You’re a good egg. My heartfelt thanks, and I know you understand. I was hoping by now that you would have transitioned, sorry to hear that things are still rough-round the edges. I’ve decided I’ve been thinking too much and that has made this move more stressful than it should have been, but I’ll know for the next time. I’ve been out of practice! Good luck to you too, and thanks for your encouragement as I have a day of packing ahead of me. Sending you writing magic…
  
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  1. rhyscorhys
    
    09/04
    
    A “good egg”? Gee, doll-face, that’s swell. I think you’re the cat’s pajamas.
    
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  2. Lani
    
    13/04
    
    Oh, was I speaking “old”? 😛
    
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The Otter

09/04

I feel you on the homebody front. I always tell people I’m not an adventurous person. I like being at home, but I like my home to be in other places. Makes total sense. 😉

I hope your move goes smoothly. Heaven knows it can get hairy at times; but I feel like you have the wherewithal to handle it. And don’t be too hard on yourself about the writing. As a fellow blogger, I understand the frustration with having nothing to say and no good way to say it, but as a reader, I can say that sometimes hearing about other people struggling with the same issues encourages me, and can even break me out of my own rut.

So, great post, and good luck!

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1. Lani
  
  13/04
  
  Words of encouragement! I’ll take it. Cheers Otter-bo-botter!
  
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When in New Places

10/04

This is something I can relate to – In that half way zone where time needs to speed up slow down…in the moment but waiting for the next thing…it’s transition time for sure.
Wishing you lots of pleasant experiences during this transition, Lani. 🙂

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1. Lani
  
  13/04
  
  Thank you dear!
  
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I’m Lani

Welcome to Life, the Universe, and Lani. I’ve been blogging about my experiences living abroad since 2009.

At this point, this site serves as an archive as I’m mostly active at No Girl is an Island 👉https://lanivcox.substack.com/ 🏝️where I have been both newslettering and continuing to craft personal essays on finding freedom in the fringes.

Thanks for stopping by, have a look around, and hope to see you over at No Girl is an Island.