Expat

7 types of male expats you might find in Thailand

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(Alternative title: Let’s Meet the Rock Stars)

To kick off the New Year, the Year of the Snake, 2556, 2013, etc, etc, and to celebrate 3 years in Chiang Mai, I started New Year’s Day, writing. This is meant in jest, as I feel I must explain, because I do adore and love men. And yes, I’ve already been asked to do the 7 types of female expats you might find.

The Dirty Harry: This lead singer is the quintessential gun slinger to be found in watering holes, saloons and the back of Thai girls’ motorbikes. They have been spotted urinating in stairwells, dry humping Thai women and stumbling back home after a rousing night out on the town (aka: the Sexpat).

The Playboy: This lead guitarist is the showboat pony of the band. One type can be seen looking important, driving his car, surrounded by adoring fans, and with a stunning lady on his arm. The other type hides the fact that he is a playboy, thereby relegating himself to “player” status; propensity to pucker when doesn’t get his way (aka: do not leave child unattended).

The Family Man: The manager of the male expat wolf pack, he is responsible, hard-working, kind and happily married or committed to the woman he came to Thailand with. Seen smiling, helping out with the kids, and good-natured, even when picking up a pack of super absorbent maxi pads. Not as rare as previously believed (aka: The Missionary, My Friend’s Husband).

The Hitchhiker: Otherwise known as the “Couch Surfer,” this rhythm guitarist has a tendency to rotate through various jobs and ventures as he tries to find a way to stay in Thailand. Gets in his own way, has grand plans, has no idea what he wants in life, fluctuates between pad see ew and Pizza Hut (aka: the Sexpat, just kidding, Mama’s boy).

The Digital Nomad: These “still waters run deep” types are the drummers, the behind the scene players that don’t always get noticed at first glance. They are the big mouths who blog brag their ideas to the world or the silent types who can unfortunately slip into “hitchhiker” status. A relatively new breed that bares further study and observation.

Gone Native: Sometimes known as The Family Man but, these bass players are not always in a relationship. Common characteristics include: speaking Thai extremely well (or thinks he does), vast knowledge of Thai culture, politics, religion and geography, and the putting down of all things Western (aka: the Reverse Coconut).

Old as Buddha: Seniority has its perks, as these Keith Richard archetypes know all too well. Voyeuristic and as vampy as the black socks they wear with shorts, when we think of Thailand’s expats, we think Old White Men. Social security never smelled so tired and tried. Warning: uses technology.

Honorable mentions: The Yogi, the Shirley Temple, and the Weirdo, I know you all can think of more…”It’s raining men, hallelujah!”

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24 thoughts on “7 types of male expats you might find in Thailand

  1. Hi Lani. Fun post! When scrolling down through the types it came to me that I don’t actually know a lot of expat guys in Thailand (not like I did when living in other Asian countries). Thailand sure is a different experience for this expat gal!

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    1. The expat community in CM is more close knit I would imagine than BKK. In the sense that everyone knows everyone and if you don’t then you will soon. Especially if you are the type to frequent the same haunts…it’s rather amusing really.

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      1. Makes sense. In Bangkok I can walk around sort of invisible/incognito. Most locals don’t know what brand of foreigner I am… and expats don’t care (many I see are doing the same).

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      2. Yeah. I was talking w/ an bai bai maa maa expat who talked about his male observations down South. Rather different. It’s interesting to have these sub-cultures w/in a sub-culture. For instance, I would imagine we have many more missionaries up North than you all do in Central Thailand.

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      3. Agreed. And the expat subculture of Pattaya is why I don’t venture down there. It’s bad enough getting the occasional hateful looks from western males walking around BKK.

        “I would imagine we have many more missionaries up North than you all do in Central Thailand.”

        I didn’t think about that before, but it does make sense. So now I have yet another reason to be fond of Bangkok over other areas of Thailand 😉

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      4. 555 I was just thinking, how dusty CM is b/c I have so many boogers. Hmmmm, BKK, huh? *strokes imaginary beard* Hmmmmm, interesting.

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    1. Oh Ashley, we women are so complicated. We can’t be put into these Happy Meals like the men. I was just humoring my friend….well, I do have a few ideas on the burner 😛

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  2. The one on the common types of expat women would probably have to be written by an expat man, and probably has. I’ve read some comments in forums over the years. A lot of those sorts of comments have been particularly nasty, and make it clear that many a male expat would shoot-to-kill a female version of himself on site (for example, if she was a fraction as overweight as himself).

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    1. Good point. But men are so uncouth, is this something they can do? Hmmm. If I was a man….how would I write this? Yeah, they’d be brutal and nasty. But what about a good man, a man w/ dignity? They are out there, aren’t they?

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    2. I cant agree with that statement, I dont get to see or meet many female expats but when I do I get excited and always enjoy talking to them. I’ve been living here for four years now and I never understood why so many guys are crazy about Thai women, as I see them they dont talk much and tend to be quit racist.

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      1. Well, that’s the beauty of each of us having individual experiences. But you raise a solid point, not all straight expats are crazy about Thai women. Some get turned off and bitter along the way and others find their soul mate, etc, etc, but I do know at least one guy here who seems enamored w/ farang women.

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      2. I can’t say that I am bitter cause I havent been given the chance to be bitter. I am mixed race my fathers African American and my moms Native and I can tell you all you need in order to get a Thai woman is to be white. Sad but true… I do love Thailand I love the life style I love the country but because of who I am its been a lonely four years and most foreign women here they come with someone or they are just passing through…

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      3. I have to disagree w/ you Brian because I know Thai women w/ black, Chinese Canadian and Chinese American men. Many Japanese expats have settled here as well w/ Thai wives.

        Perhaps BKK is a little more intolerant of darker skin color?

        As far as farang women are concerned I think it varies greatly. Some women have broken up w/ their partners while here (or vice versa), some prefer Thai or hill tribe guys and yes some are passing through too.

        But I know foreign women who have lived here a long time. Single.

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  3. Oh, sorry, that was a non sequitur, as opposed to a metaphor. It’s just a Smeagol thing. It’s just something Smeagol likes: pond scum; the green mantle of the standing pool; twitching aqueous larva; dragonfly nymphs; snails, slugs, and solpugids, and all the various algae and mosses. It’s a veritable soup.

    I can see how it looked like it might have something to do with comments above. It was more of a Smeagol turrets thing. A mental spasm, if you will. I seem to have recovered from that episode.

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  4. What about the guy that gets a big-ass motorcycle instead of a practical motorbike? Pertinent difference being I can’t hear the motorbikes in my apartment, but I can hear the motorcycles.

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    1. I’ll quote Jeremy on this one. He’s an asshole. Oh, I should clarify. The ones w/ the LOUD muffler.

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  5. Nice list Lani, but i think you are too nice hehe…I could think of many others. And you forgot about this groupe, the “nice guy with a real job who is not married to a thai woman but is happy and loves thailand nonetheless” ; )

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    1. Thanks Pierre! Miss you buddy. And yes, you are abso-fruitly right, there are the nice guys, more than folks realize. xxoo

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