Life, the Universe, and Lani

When I first heard Lady Gaga’s Hair, I thought it was brilliant because women strongly identify with their hair. All you have to do is watch any America’s Next Top Model makeover episode and you’ll see terribly attractive ingénues weeping for pity’s sake over their cherished locks being cut.

I like to make a statement with my hair. Maybe it’s because I’m a Madonna generation gal. Maybe it’s because I get bored easily or maybe it’s because, I’m just being me. And I’ve done EVERYTHING to my hair, except shave it off.

Short hair is less likely to be seen in Thailand, where the traditional Iron Curtain reigns supreme. Here women want to look as feminine as possible unless they are “toms” or tom boys. So I grew my shoulder length hair out and it was long, layered and fabulously feminine for what seemed like a long time.

But for my 39^th birthday I decided to cut it short. My hairdresser is one of those modern women, very un-Thai or challenging the norms, if you will. She’s about my age, not married, no desire, happy with her boyfriend, doesn’t want children AND owns a cat in the dog love Thailand. So when she asked, as she had done before, “Do you want to cut your hair short?” this time I said yes.

Hair grows back, I figured, and for 6+ years I was with a man who liked my hair long, he didn’t want me having a “mom hairdo” or a chin-length bob. So I had to make a statement.  It was time.

I won’t lie. There are times when I look at long hair and wonder, what I have I done? I have nice hair. It was nice to have long hair! Hairdressers like to thin mine out because I have a lot of it. But then I’d turn my attention to those women who had shorter hair and I felt part of a little tribe, and thought, “Do I really need long hair to feel pretty? Do women need to have long hair to feel feminine?”

I knew a guy who thought it was important to see a girl with her hair wet. That way, any styling products would be washed away and he could really see a girl’s face. I thought that was rather amusing. He must have been really surprised when he saw a girl without hairspray or something. Kind of like that Seinfeld episode where the girl Jerry’s dating looks different under different lighting.

Unfortunately I don’t have the face for really short hair, like a pixie cut. I’m not even sure if I have the face for this damn perm I just got. Guys like it when girls have hair that covers them up, like a mermaid. I wonder if guys like it when the hair reveals the girl underneath.

Never mind.  What do I know about guys?

Now hair, I know. A good hair cut or a bad one makes a very big difference. When I first moved to Thailand I was thrilled to the maxi max to get a flattering haircut, after what seemed like years in the Mainland searching for The One.

I don’t have the best memory but I can tell you the last State I got an excellent haircut was in Portland, Oregon. Chico and Oceanside California? Nah. Forgettable. Except that weird lady in Chico who served me a bowl of popcorn with Twizzlers sticking out of it. First of all, I hate popcorn and Twizzlers, and second of all, how the hell am I going to eat when I’m getting my haircut?

Huntsville Alabama? Forget it. I was an exotic animal and a bit of a spectacle in a salon that was very ladies who lunch.

So, thank you Thailand, for showing off my best sides, and helping me feel pretty. (Interestingly I was in high school and college theatre but the only musical I ever performed in was Hair.)