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Lani

What a history, what a State...Hawaii, you are one of a kind. — What a history, what a State…Hawaii, you are one of a kind.

I’m going to Hawaii. I’m going to Hawaii!

It’s been 6 years since I’ve been back home. That’s a long time. In that time span, I could have given birth to a kid and now she’d be in kindergarten. Or I could have gotten another undergrad and master’s degree. But instead, I’ve been living in Thailand twiddling my thumbs. (By the by, my students think it’s hilarious whenever I twiddle my thumbs whilst I wait for them to stop talking.)

Now, I was in Alabama and Tennessee briefly, very briefly about 5 years ago and that’s been about the extent of contact with US soil since living abroad. So, I’m overdue for a visit and I imagine it will be all shocking and stuff until I remember why I left in the first place. Or not. After all, I’ll only be there for 2 weeks, hardly enough time to get sick of it, right?

Hawaii holds a special place for me. I suppose it’s the same for anyone else who thinks of their home, their home state, the place they were born and raised. Hawaii is comprised of immigrants, military personnel and everyone in between. Each island is its own personality, too. But I was born and raised on the main island, where Honolulu is, Oahu, so when I talk about Hawaii, I talk about Oahu.

I know some folks think Southern California is like Hawaii with its bustling Asian population, beaches and lovely weather, but it is not. I’ve lived in So Cal, so I know what I’m talking about. So Cal is expansive, it’s massive compared to Hawaii. There are billboards in California and semi-trucks on top of semi-trucks, pollution and they don’t have their own language like Hawaii does. No, I’m not talking about Hawaiian; I’m talking about Pidgin English with Hawaiian words peppered in for a dose of “I have no idea what he just said.”

Overall though, I am curious to see how I feel when I am back. I don’t think I will want to move back to the States and start all over again, no matter how much my mom wants me to return. But I think I will appreciate it like never before. I’m feeling a great antipathy towards Thailand and all the problems I’ve been having here of late. And I’m sorry that I haven’t been more forthcoming and honest as I have been in the past. But one of the challenges of writing a personal blog is knowing what to say and what to say later or not at all.

I won’t be going to Hawaii for another two weeks, but I promise to take a lot of photos and share my adventures. Until then, I hope to surprise you all with another announcement next week. Just a little something I’ve been working on, but I’ve been too terrified to publish it yet. xxoo

37 responses to “I’m going to Hawaii.”

Mabel Kwong

28/03

Waaaah!!! Have to wait until next week for your announcement 😀 Going back to the place where we grew up is in a sense quite scary. You know that things will be different (well, most of the time) from what you remembered and at the same time you don’t know what to expect, really. Chances are the people will be different too, or come across as different.

I haven’t been back to Malaysia in a couple of years. Singapore where I did most of my schooling? Probably almost five years. Do I want to go back for a short visit. Oh yes. I always welcome a change of scenery even if it means getting stared at by the locals over there for acting and looking not local 😀

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1. Lani
  
  28/03
  
  Ah, you get it. I probably will not blend in like I used to, but who knows? Hawaii is so diverse. It’s funny because I’m not as tan as I used to be, so I will look pale in comparison to the locals.
  
  Yeah, I don’t know what to expect. I THINK I know what to expect, but I don’t, really. My fears are that my family will drive me crazy 😛
  
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  1. Mabel Kwong
    
    29/03
    
    Yeah, who knows. The locals might be paler than you remembered. The food might be more delicious than you remembered 😉 Ah, family. They will probably bombard you with questions or keep asking to go out on the town with you.
    
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  2. Lani
    
    30/03
    
    It’s coming up and I think I’m finally getting excited. I just confirmed everything with the travel agent. Aaaaah!
    
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cvail

28/03

As someone who has only visited Hawaii twice, I’m a little envious. I think it is gorgeous, albeit a little hot! Have fun exploring home!

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1. Lani
  
  28/03
  
  Thanks, Corinne. I will definitely be playing tourist back in my own hometown!
  
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CrazyChineseFamily

28/03

Looking forward to see those pictures. It is always exciting to go back to your “home”, especially after such long time.
I really wonder when I ever get to go to Hawaii, always been a dream of me but well, there is always other stuff popping up

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1. Lani
  
  28/03
  
  Yes, especially after a long time…it will be a nice reward after working too much. Cheers 🙂
  
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Su Lynch (@SuSuLynch)

28/03

I haven’t been back to Hawaii for nearly 16 years, since my mother died. I think a large part of me thinks I’ll feel even more ‘foreign’ there, where I was born and raised, than here in England. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

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1. Lani
  
  28/03
  
  Thanks Su. I’m rather good at not thinking too much about big trips, but rather just being in the moment. I never can expect what is coming anyhow, so might as well not stress over it and try!
  
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mommermom

28/03

I do not think Southern California is anything like Hawaii! California is nice but Hawaii is so much more beautiful. I have only been to Maui twice but loved every moment and would love to go back. I hope you have a wonderful visit home and can’t wait to see your photos!!

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1. Lani
  
  29/03
  
  Perhaps folks are reminded of the similarities of the two. Both places are also very expensive! I’ve only been to Maui once when I was in high school and I can’t go back because there is an ex I’d like to avoid. Hahahhaa. Thanks, will do!
  
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Craig A. Hart

29/03

It sounds exciting! I can’t wait to hear your impressions as you view something familiar with different eyes.

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1. Lani
  
  29/03
  
  What a great way to put it. Yes, thank you!
  
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Linda Babkirk

29/03

You will be fine no matter what the outcome. You are a strong brave woman and you always figure out how to handle what comes your way. Remember to breathe and be gentle with yourself.

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1. Lani
  
  30/03
  
  Thank you Lin. Hope you and Mr. Hat are exceptionally well.
  
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lightwalker1

29/03

How exciting for you. I am looking forward to your photos and posts already. Have fun, enjoy your mother and make many memories. In love and light Cheryle

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1. Lani
  
  30/03
  
  How did you know I needed to hear that about my mother? Hahahaha 😛 Thanks.
  
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Ray

29/03

I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, it’s seems the most unique American state. One of my friends is in grad school there. One day…

Have a good trip. It’s always odd to be back ‘home’ after years away. Make the most of it. Looking forward to the photos!

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1. Lani
  
  30/03
  
  Me, too. I plan on buying a new camera since my old one was stolen. Thanks!
  
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Mia

29/03

Hope you have a great trip back to your hometown! 🙂 I’m sure it will be interesting, after 6 years away. Can’t wait to hear all about it! 🙂

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1. Lani
  
  30/03
  
  Thanks, Mia. We have our check-in soon. Did you remember that? Can’t believe it’s only been a month?!
  
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Kelly

29/03

So cool that you get to visit home! I’m so curious what you’ll think after being away for six years. Hope you have a good time 🙂

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1. Lani
  
  30/03
  
  Yes, I will have to remember to let my impressions digest and simmer before hitting publish!
  
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Michelle @ Mishfish13

30/03

Why would you say that and NOT TELL ME WHAT IT IS?? You should know my patience isn’t at its best! Instant gratification all the way! But in all honesty, can’t wait to hear all about your trip!! I hope you have so much fun—and don’t get too much reverse culture shock 🙂

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andthreetogo

31/03

I have been having the same ambivalence about staying in Thailand as of late and we have only been here for a year and a half or so. The visa issues are just driving me crazy. I just want to go somewhere where it is not so difficult to stay, or travel again long term… we shall see what happens. I look forward to hearing your announcement. 🙂 Safe travels my northern friend. 🙂

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1. Lani
  
  31/03
  
  Yeah, exactly, you understand. The visa issues have been ongoing and we’re actually coming to the end of my b/f’s visa. It’s too bad that Thailand has changed their rules for the worse – that unwelcome feeling has worn thin.
  
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JeanJean

01/04

Something must be pulling you back for a visit. I look forward to reading of your impressions now. Last week I checked on goggle maps the street where I grew up in southern Ontario . I was showing my partner and I grew nostalgic. Despite difficulties of growing up poor, we were very lucky to be in a mixed income neighborhood with some historic homes and lovely old trees.

I loved Hawaii for being quite different than mainland US. First trip was big island and Kauai. Second trip was Maui. I did a short time checked job ads for Hawaii. Instead I got interviewed for a job in California — yes, down there.

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1. Lani
  
  01/04
  
  You are very astute, Jean. Yes, actually, my grandmother gave me “I’m going to die soon” speech and regardless of her being overly dramatic or not, she is getting WAY up there, so she deserves a visit.
  
  It will also be a time for me to get quality things that I cannot get here no matter how “modern” Thailand is…there are some things that it lacks for a decent price. So, I’m looking forward to that, too.
  
  I probably will be nostalgic as well. LOTS of memories hanging around the island 🙂 xxoo
  
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  1. Jean
    
    03/04
    
    How old is your grandmother? Yes, one never knows when a person will never be around again.
    So how far back are your family roots in Hawai’i?
    I have this feeling we might be treated to some cool memories and Hawai’i insider knowledge in this blog soon! 🙂
    
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  2. Lani
    
    03/04
    
    I think she’s 78. She’s actually young in the scheme of things because she had my father when she was only 15 or 16, you know, China back then.
    
    Her health has been bad and so I’m sure she’s feeling every bit of her age these days. Ah, memories…I’m sure I’ll be surprised! Thanks, Jean.
    
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Sara Strand

05/04

Hawaii is like the dream trip. One of them. My cousin and her husband are stationed there right now, but moving back stateside in November and I’m SO bummed I don’t have the money to go visit while she’s there and I could stay with her versus a hotel. Ugh.

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1. Lani
  
  05/04
  
  You could try couchsurfing or an airbnb. Just a thought…
  
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Mary

06/04

Wow!!! It’s always a shocker to go back ‘home’ and see how much everything has changed (or stayed the same). I bet it will be a roller coaster trip of emotions for you.

I’ve never been to Hawaii and never had a desire to–that is, until all of my friends went there on vacation and said it’s the best place ever. My boyfriend totally wants to live there. I heard the traffic there is bad, but I still don’t think it can be as bad as L.A. or Socal (and there’s probably better public transportation, too).

And although I’ve never been, I have to say that it can’t possibly be like SoCal–even weather wise (at least it rains there! Oh, I miss rain!).

Bon Voyage! Can’t wait for the Hawaii post!

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1. Lani
  
  07/04
  
  It’s less than a week away now so I’m starting to think about all those little things that I need to do when I go here or there. I need to start a list!
  
  The traffic in Hawaii (Oahu) is atrocious. Lack of public transportation (just the bus), planning and limited space has made for a hot mess. Everyone likes to say that California is worse, but I’m not sure if that makes it better.
  
  If your b/f wants to live there, I completely understand. It’s where all the Asian immigrants go! Hahhaa. Generations of them are there and it’s really the gateway to Asia in general.
  
  Thanks!
  
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Kal

16/05

and now, I will be the one who is going to Hawaii.. oh well, not that soon but we will be in Honolulu at the end of this year and I want some recommendations, tips and anything in between please.

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1. Lani
  
  16/05
  
  Let’s do an email. I’ll find yours on your site. Also, what island are you going to? If it’s Oahu, then I can hopefully help.
  
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I’m Lani

Welcome to Life, the Universe, and Lani. I’ve been blogging about my experiences living abroad since 2009.

At this point, this site serves as an archive as I’m mostly active at No Girl is an Island 👉https://lanivcox.substack.com/ 🏝️where I have been both newslettering and continuing to craft personal essays on finding freedom in the fringes.

Thanks for stopping by, have a look around, and hope to see you over at No Girl is an Island.