I want to fish as deep as down as possible into my own subconscious in the belief that once that far down, everyone will understand because they are somewhat the same that far down. – Jack Kerouac
Alright. I’ve signed up for WP’s Writing 101 course. And for our first assignment we had to free write for 20 minutes. After completing it, I dug up my writing class notes and thought this stream of consciousness exercise is something I should do every day. I think it’s a good writing habit.
But before I share what I scribbled in my notebook, I should explain that I moved from Chiang Mai Thailand to Chiang Rai 6 months ago. I’m moving again, but this time just a couple of kilometers towards town. . .
Moving is on my mind. Getting it done. Excited for the new start, and the new beginning. It’s been such a rough 6 months that I feel this will be like our new year, our starting over. There is such promise in that. And I’d like to make new friends. I feel ready for that. Can you believe it?
Maybe these past 6 months have been a long difficult transit/passage because we thought we had landed, but we really hadn’t and the frustration came from wanting and waiting for this. What’s interesting is if I look back, 6 months was how long I lived in Ecuador. 6 months is half a year. It’s a strange period of time. A lot can be lived in the lifetime of 6 months. And a lot has.
These past 6 months was living with b/f for the first time, the new job, the new city and surroundings, a big plop that I thought was going to be easier. Just goes to show you, just because you’ve done something a lot doesn’t mean you’ve mastered it. But oddly enough, I don’t have regrets. I mean, I don’t regret the move. Our new landlord just called. Okay, we have set the time.
So, I don’t regret the move even though I gave up a comfortable and known life for an unknown beginning. I think I will find something about these 6 months later after more time has passed. I forgot to ask about the mattress. Oh, I’ll text him later. I’m not worried. I can’t be worried. I stress out too easily and often. It will be as it should be.
Maybe 6 months is the time it takes to find your footing in a new land. Maybe we are not patient enough. Maybe we don’t realize how much we need to process. Maybe change is not as easy as travel bloggers and entrepreneurs lead us to believe.
But for me, these changes are good. I don’t know why though. Well, I mean the first move. The second move, yes. From comfort to crazy is never easy and yet I don’t think about it. I just do it. Maybe I should anticipate the difficulties, but they are never what you think they will be.
Ghosts appear when you didn’t even think about ghosts. Why ghosts? They seem to represent problems and hey, Halloween is around the corner. Why not? No more ghosts please. I know they will always be around to rattle their chains, leave behind mysterious pools of water (true story) and create fear and chaos. So the question is: How can I be a ghost buster? Hunter? A paranormal strategist? How can I slay my worries to rest and accept what has happened? New beginnings, new start. I suppose I better accept there will be a few unexpected ghosts. I suppose they make life exciting.
P.S. Our awesome new landlord is replacing the mattress.