Did you know there’s a phenomenon called shit life syndrome or SLS? You didn’t, but you did, right?
It’s rather remarkable that in 2023, with all the technological advancements, that we still have wars, worldwide serfdom, and an elite ruling class.
As a child of the 80s, it felt like we were both running towards a brighter future and away from the responsibility of the harm being done to others and the environment. Unfortunately, we now know which direction gained greater momentum and speed.
I’m not sure how other people cope. If I was to guess, I’d wager it lies somewhere on the spectrum of crushing despair and ignoring the problems, because what the hell can you do? I feel like a lot of the advice we’re given is painful, like donating (aka throwing money at a problem) or supporting country or cause as if we were betting on sports teams.
But I wonder if the vast majority of people are aware that we are witnessing a worldwide struggle between good and evil?
Now, we might be tempted to be philosophical here: What is evil? Who is winning and losing? Etc. But I don’t want to fall into cute arguments and hair-splitting debates. We explain all manner of complicated topics to children by distilling them to its fundamental forms – like my husband’s definition of evil: knowingly harming others, usually for personal gain.
So what can we do?
We can be good, of course.
Cynics might roll their eyes at that, but give me a chance.
What I like about the idea and practice of “just being a good person” is that anyone can do it. You don’t have to give money. In fact, it’s not about money. We’ve become too obsessed and that’s why my former landlord overcharged us electricity, even though it’s a basic need. Or why my old employer overworks and underpays it’s employees despite the high turnover and sinking reputation.
I’m sure you have your own examples, too. That’s the problem. We all do.
Now, by the definition above, does that mean these people are evil? Yup, they are. I realize there’s a range, but the maximize profit (and minimize people) creed, you could argue, is one of the reasons why so many folks are suffering. This seemingly innocent “I’m just being smart” belief system is called predatory capitalism.
To be fair, I don’t think these people consider themselves evil, or maybe they don’t care, because to them, life’s about playing a game, and they’re playing to win. But I’m not concerned with that, I’m focusing on being a good person, because if more and more people did that, what the world would look like today?
Copycat behavior, good or bad, is infections. We’re social creatures and if we held society up to a higher standard, these selfish practices would be the exception, not the norm.
Nowadays, we find it novel and refreshing when someone is honest, direct, or nice because we’ve come to expect the runaround, the dead-ends, the cheating.
We used to call it the Golden Rule, but that ideal seems like a relic from a bygone era. “Be the change you want to see in the world” could be another way to say it, but it doesn’t take into account that there has been a seismic shift in shared values and things we know to be true. It’s also up to interpretation in a time of extremes, but that’s not Gandhi’s fault.
When I did a quick internet search to see if anyone had written about this before, I was surprised to see that the results were all about HOW to be a good person. Isn’t that interesting? Don’t we already know? What do you think?
For many years, I’ve tried to have a gratitude practice in some form. My most successful iteration is the one I’m doing now. I write ten things (I think the point is to write a lot) that I’m grateful for every morning. And yes, I slow down at around five and start to space-out for something to write.
Perhaps along the same style is to write groovy things someone did, that either happened to you, or that you noticed. Or maybe you jot down what nice things you did.
Because it’s about noticing these things. Because we get plenty of “real news”. Because there’s nothing small about the moments that make up our lives. For example:
1. My friend Chris picked up our lunch tab.
2. Dieng, the owner of The Muffin Man restaurant and bakery, shared his remarkable story with us.
3. Our most excellent neighbor.
4. The bank teller waited for me to return from the loo, rather than skipping over my number.
5. Drivers yielding to us pedestrians. Thank you!
6. To the honest sellers who have been giving us fair prices on fruits, housewares, taxis, you name it.
7. My friend Isobel’s constant help – lots of good advice.
8. The woman who offered to take our photo when we were wanting to take our picture.
9. Smiles and good service from our vegan delivery and bottled water.
10. My husband’s hugs and encouragement.
I don’t know. How do you bring balance to your life?
I used to believe that in everyone there is good, you just gotta give them a chance. But I don’t believe that anymore. A student once told me that he believed great wealth didn’t corrupt a person, so much as reveal who they truly are.
Another way to illustrate this is to look at traffic and how people drive. You see a level of selfishness and disregard for the safety of other people (and even for yourself!) and whoever is in your car for a few extra seconds or minutes saved. I’ve seen gridlock at intersections and bridges because no want wants to give an inch, but I’ve also witnessed what it’s like when every other car lets the other merge, and we work together to get where we want to go.
Can you imagine if everyone on the road was 5-10% less selfish? I’m willing to wager that would make a big difference. I asked a driver if Siem Reap has a lot of accidents (since the new improved roads) and they said it happens usually at 8 am or late at night. So, when people are in a rush, or when they’re drunk, or believe the roads are quiet, so they can pretend they’re in Fast and Furious.
I understand that it’s the big corporations that are creating shrinkflation and getting away with polluting rivers and skies. Us, little people, are just that, but I do believe in brighter futures, good over evil, and strength in numbers. You might argue that, “I’m already a good person! It makes no difference.” But that’s exactly what they want you to believe.
To feel helpless or powerless prevents us from even trying. The Hunger Games has already begun, but spoiler alert—good prevails through teamwork and tenacity.
I’m not okay with SLS. Yes, there’s selfishness in self-preservation, but extreme scenarios or arguments aside, it costs nothing to smile, to let someone go first, to say hello. I’ve actually heard of a few stories where people are suicidal, but a random act of kindness changed the course of their life, literally. And while this is by no means a comparison, I can certainly remember in times of stress when someone’s helping hand made a beautiful difference. And I bet you can, too.
What do you think?
Life, the Universe, and Lani 
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