humor writing – Life, the Universe, and Lani

How to be an Edgy and Thought-Provoking Asian American

// Own the Bowl Haircut – Why should childhood trauma still haunt you? Bring a bowl to the salon and tell them to do it. Bonus points if you are a woman or you do it at home. Post on social media. #iamthebowl

21/0812/10

Notes from afield: (humorous) classroom observations

If my mental math isn’t failing me, I’ve been teaching for about 12 years, which means I haven’t had the good sense to hook, reel, and catch a ‘sugar daddy’. Nor have I been able to launch my misplaced passion for writing into any lucrative side hustle or ‘cash cow’.

01/0712/10

Skip the vacation (or the ugly side of traveling)

Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane. – Jim Gaffigan Is everyone on holiday but me? Even though my vacation is later this month, I’m still burning with jealousy at everyone else’s Instagram feed. I’m convinced everyone’s loaded with unlimited cash – and having a great time. *sobs into monogram handkerchief*

14/0719/08

Confession: I have bad writing habits.

What? But you seem so disciplined, Lani. You’re always writing these lovely posts on how writing has elevated your life – and we all know that you are working on another book. Exactly. My goal of getting it done, came and went like all those other empty goals. I went through a phase of reading…

17/0927/02

Pictures of people taking pictures at Angkor Wat

Who was I kidding? Angkor Archaeological Park has got to be one of the most photographed sites in the world. My camera is a cheap, tepid, point and shoot that I impulsively bought when I couldn’t find the cameras I wanted back in Hawaii. What could I do to make my pictures stand out? What…

27/0419/08

How to make your life more Thai!*

*Other Asians might apply: based on observations and real life experiences. 1. Keep the plastic on your furniture. My mom kept the plastic cover on our lampshades until I think we revolted or something. But maybe I’m remembering incorrectly, they could still be on…

14/0219/08

What NOT to do on Valentine’s Day

Today is not a good day to confess your love for someone. Actually, no day is really a good day for this kind of thing. I remember when I lived with 3 other very strange people in Eugene Oregon. (I’m deeply scarred from that experience, particularly from catching my landlady pleasuring herself – why did…