humor writing – Life, the Universe, and Lani

Being Wrong is the New Right: a man’s guide to living with a woman

Hi, my name’s Lumberjack Dan, and I’m here to help you fellas get your balls in a row. Whether you’re at the starting gate (you’ve decided to move in with your long term girlfriend) or have been running the track nonstop (married with kids), I’ve got the answers to your needs. But first, some qualifications.…

21/1211/02

Outwit, outplay, surviving the holidays as an introvert

You can’t get out of these. You’ve already tried. You’ve bailed before, Haley’s birthday, Tom and Peter’s housewarming, your grandma’s 90th, so you’re stuck. You’ve ranted and raved to your stuffed animal collection (family), drank it off but stopped after two glasses of wine (wuss), and passed out in a fear-induced stupor (typical).

10/0911/02

How to be an Edgy and Thought-Provoking Asian American

// Own the Bowl Haircut – Why should childhood trauma still haunt you? Bring a bowl to the salon and tell them to do it. Bonus points if you are a woman or you do it at home. Post on social media. #iamthebowl

21/0811/02

Notes from afield: (humorous) classroom observations

If my mental math isn’t failing me, I’ve been teaching for about 12 years, which means I haven’t had the good sense to hook, reel, and catch a ‘sugar daddy’. Nor have I been able to launch my misplaced passion for writing into any lucrative side hustle or ‘cash cow’.

01/0712/10

Skip the vacation (or the ugly side of traveling)

Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane. – Jim Gaffigan Is everyone on holiday but me? Even though my vacation is later this month, I’m still burning with jealousy at everyone else’s Instagram feed. I’m convinced everyone’s loaded with unlimited cash – and having a great time. *sobs into monogram handkerchief*

14/0719/08

Confession: I have bad writing habits.

What? But you seem so disciplined, Lani. You’re always writing these lovely posts on how writing has elevated your life – and we all know that you are working on another book. Exactly. My goal of getting it done, came and went like all those other empty goals. I went through a phase of reading…

17/0927/02

Pictures of people taking pictures at Angkor Wat

Who was I kidding? Angkor Archaeological Park has got to be one of the most photographed sites in the world. My camera is a cheap, tepid, point and shoot that I impulsively bought when I couldn’t find the cameras I wanted back in Hawaii. What could I do to make my pictures stand out? What…