Another crack at Spanish means a lot of things, including another crack at my self-confidence. I’ve started another Spanish class this week and so far it has been great. I’m surprised by what I do know and what I have remembered from my own studies. I also made the commitment to have fun.
The stress of moving to another country is greatly under-appreciated. Starting over feels like building your own house. A daunting task but doable. The raw materials and blueprints are at your disposal but damn it, it’s a lot of hard work. And if you’ve been reading my blog then you know how much friends can help shoulder/lift/ease the burden. At least you know how very much I appreciate my friends.
I think we forget that we are not alone. It can feel lonely especially when you compare yourself to others, when you feel as though everyone is building their house faster with seemingly less effort. Sometimes I pace back and forth in my mind over these things but then I remember that comparing myself to others does me a great disservice because I am pretending to know how things are with other people.
I know this but then I forget and then life feels like the process of remembering the dance steps again. Because when I do remember I feel like dancing. I am moving at my own pace.
I’ve noticed that I’ve been listening to the Dixie Chick’s The Long Way Around almost every day this week. I think I’ve been remembering not only how much I like this song but how much it relates to me. I used to think that the Allman Brother’s Ramblin’ Man was my theme song but there is something in the Dixie Chick’s lyrics that resonates within me too. No, I could not follow. Wouldn’t kiss all the asses they told me too. I’ve always found my way some how, by takin’ the long way around. . .
Which reminds me of what one of my favorite artists Hunderwasser said, Something grows; then it can’t fail. Only quick things fail. You feel that they do not have that patina, the mark of evolution, the mark of age. Slow-growing trees are better than fast-growing, the wood is better, they look better.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m slow. And sometimes impatient. Especially when it comes to me. But I think with Spanish I will try to remember to have fun, keep it light because I’m starting to understand my tendencies; and if my path is one over the cobblestones then I better enjoy the bumps and bruises as much as I can. I’m not a natural language learner but I’m naturally persistent.